http://www.mistersingapore.org/mistersingapore/Contestants/contestants.htm

Omg, was rofl at these poor dudes who have been conned into participating in this sad sack of a beauty pageant. Almost died when i saw the very conspicuous "Paya Lebar-Photo Not Available". Quite in anticipation of Mister Queenstown, but sadly he must have failed to make the cut. Which just goes to show what miserable people we have in fako ghetto land (think Queensway//Bronx:/)- I mean, what kind of pathetic hunk does one have to be to out-pout Mr. Toa Payoh and his bee stung smackers?!?! Mr Yishun positively looks like a computer-generated gigolo in Sims 5 or something. Mr Hougang has got to be the worst sod there, with his "I-wanna-be-a-black-eyed-pea" hair, I wouldn't be surprised if his previous residence was Queenstown (think of pseudo black street culture again).

ok, have not managed to wrangle some utility from insulting all these unknown people, whom i'm sure are decent guys in real life, but yeah, i'm just bored and in a foul mood.

am kinda looking forward to weekend (duh) cos there's humans party:) hmmm, seem to be pigging out every single weekend since christmas. not good for waistline.haven't excercised properly or prepared for nafa on mon, so am quite dead. plus have incomprehensible complex nos n utterly "huh?!?!" discrete r.v. to go figure out. plus all the usual econs and geog shit. argh, this is so sad, my life is so bitter. whine!!

on slightly happier note, there's all the pigging out n meeting with qing n sher going on this weeekend, sooo yayy:)

to sherry: any of these guys fit your wakeboarder/surfer profile? heh.

yesss, post blocks stress relief..ahhhaaaahaaa. went to watch the woodsman today w friends. was damn good, though highly highly disturbing. ok, am too wonked out to provide insightful analysis of the film, but trust me on this- it's damn goood!!! vv sad, cried a bit when robin (this 12 yr old that walter is trying to XXX) revealed her history of sexual abuse by her father.

Scene at the park bench:

W: Would you like to come sit on my lap?
R: What?
W: I said would you like to sit on my lap?
R: No, no thank you.
(R's face starts to crumple)
My father always asks me to do that
W: Do you like sitting on his lap? do you like it when he asks you that?
R: (crying by now) No
W: does he tell you weird things and moves his legs in funny ways?
R: (continues weeping.)

silence

R: would you still like me to sit on your lap? you know, cos i wouldn't mind.
W: no. no, it's alright. go home robin.


omgggg...kevin bacon is firggin good as walter, there're times when you wanna slap him upside down, yet you somehow accept that he's trying to change (with varying degrees of success, but the effort is commendable). ensemble cast was also vv good, even the side characters were memorable.

gahhh, wanna watch it again. heh, thank goodness we didn't go watch stage beauty or miss congeniality 2 (which han n nurul said sucked, btw.)

anyway, am in a laidback mood, and am determined to exercise a bit before major pigout session this weekend. (haven't found a stupid costume for the party yet, but i figure i'll just go as messed up corpse in brown sack. no need for much preparation there..)

also feeling a bit vindictive, cos joyce yap (ex fellow guide/ex-classmate from crescent) ripped off my cool msn nick. humph. but wth, this shows that my nicks rock. haha, even the ones that merely say tw. heheh. ok, am not making any sense here. but who cares, cos i'm happpyyyy:)

edit/
new musical discovery of the week: fiona apple!
am on a paperbag high. :)

uhh.freezing in the sch library now, pretty much wasted the past 2 hrs blog surfing...heheh, was hoping to be inspired by various success stories from the seniors.

qing: two of my seniors have set up a cool site peddaling their handmade earrings. it's quite a good idea, and theyeven have a page explaining the various modes of payment available. you n sher shld go check it out: rachaelandjudith.com :)

yep, owell. went for the uk uni talk on fri w sihui. spent most ofmytime there pigging out at the buffet table (damn, the chicken wings ran out real quickly...) the professors/administrators all sounded like tired otur guides. esp this guy called jo, who was v earnest and adorably nervous when talkig to us, he kept saying "okkaiiiee" in a british accent, and it was allquite endearing really, as compared to the law prof fr kings (forgot his name), who quite blatantly fell asleep during his collegues's speeches. hmmm.then went to pig out, and in the process talked to the edb hr person, who's in charge of interviewing aspiring scholars. i think i was quite rude then, talking with my mouth full n oily n everything. must have been quite a sight..haha. hah had to demand that i stop eating and leave so she could get home in time for dinner..heheheh.

saw quite a number of ex-cresecentians and various pri sch mates at the exhibition on fri n sat.hmm, quite petrified that we're all competing for the same thing(s).in othernews, i can't stop eating, i'm hoping against hope that all the weight i've gained is due to water retention, but somehowww, i don't think so.must stop binging when stressed.

and yesss! am happy for the seniors, who were all pretty happy with their results. 19/47 peepsgot their 4 As, and 32/47 got 3As or more. hx,mel,sheryl,zhuanghui,lynn,em,judith (of course), zhipeng(of course) all got their 4As.
stats:
19/47 got the perfect 432/47got 3 As or more. hmmm,according to my current class ranking, i'm left out !!! ddiieeeee. wail!!!rjc 56%-4Ashci: 43%-4As (i think, some rumours have it at 47%, but still....)
yup, it does look quite bad eh?
ah what the heck, will mug harder. or at least try.

cross country/ian's birthday gathering at nydc


ehh, quite fun(gathering, Not x-ctry), but mostly a massive exchange of gossip re KEITH. ahahaha..so scandalous, our good buddy. i always knew he was a bit of a casanova, but PENNY?!?!? omg, am shocked and vaguely traumatised. hmmm, shall not ramble too much abt k n xiaoqi in front of her fr now onwards. heheh...can't stop sniggering..ah, feel quite mean. then discussed antony n his depression/parallel w some deranged rg chick/bisexual tendancies towards joel (ahhaha) etc


ok, sadly birthday boy occupies the second spot as his fodder is not as juicy as keithy's. the nice guy (ian, not keith, he cldn't come cos Someone is more impt...humph.he actually ditched us a couple of times for her, that ungrateful brat) offered to pay for all meals but then we were too paiseh when the bill arrived ($230.39!!!), so we ended up coughing up our own cash, as a result, am terribly broke now, and jts tmr is going to deplete my cny stash...argh.... basically we just made alot of noise there, but no one really noticed cos everyone else was ...engrossed. anyway, i have a comppliant!!: nydc is friggin ineffiecient, my plate of all american ziti pasta came like 20mins after everyone else's food had arrived, (leon n jyhc finished their pastas before mine had arrived.wahhhh) 3 ppl spent 10 mins counting the orders 5 times before they were convinced that my plate was not in front of me. irritating lack of food added on to general feeling of starvation and heatstroke from the horrible crosscountry. (which EVERYONE ponned except for the competitiors. eeps. haha, my placing was a v miserable 126...)

anyway, am rambling on: then we walked over to ian's house (yesss, the lucky shit literally lives in the middle of orchard road..humph)., sang teh v nice bday song, took pics with his parents and slacked by the pool for a while, then hcpple left him to fend for himself with his ac khjakis. err, apparently there's some sort of weird ac tradition to strip him, so most of us didn't reeallly wanna be there for that.

yup, then by the time i got home almost midnight and all my mugging intentions dissipated by the time i finished bathing (still having a bit of a headache now, though i didn't drink last night. (quite proud of meself :) initially thought it was brain freeze from all the ice cream, but now i think it was the bloody blazing sun during the run--> heatstroke.waahhhh) (ok, am whining alot, but wth.)

cap submissions due on mon, but i haven't finished editing ANYTHING, and hpf hasn't replied, but i'm not really frazzled....yet, let's All Wait Till Sun Night before we Panic k?

i think i dismiss teenage angst waayyy too hastily. antony tried to jump off the railings outside the lt on fri. jonny had to pull him off, and sihan and tee counselled him for like a few hours. i was too freaked to speak to him again until that night, but i called mrs lim and had her inform his dad, who came over for dfeste. yayy, glad he was feeling better after father-son /male-male bonding session :). anyway, he seemed quite alright today,joked a bit, and he even came over from his usual seat beside the curiously silent alvin (i think i spoke to him a grand total of 5 times this past yr...quite sheepish about that) to mingle. mingling is good, and it's much too often maligned for being shallow. one can't always be talking about life, death, sex, love and loss right? haha.

yup, will need to be friendlier, i remember nurul telling me once that i seemed so dao during the first week of sch..seemed to have lost my thick skinned egotistical friendliness after sec 3. *shudder* ok la, sec3-4 wasn't THAT bad....haha;p

am meeting hpf tmr w jy n nurul, and i've got shit to give her la. feel like i'm wasting my mentorship, we talk waaayyy too much crap when we're together. should stop rambling on about iraq/democracy/education in sg etcetc and various other murky issues and focus.hahaha. (ok, this haha thing is varying from the cynical, sarcastic to the plain perverted/retarded) want to go watch some romcom play at wheelock w them after meeting ends:)

tee's being weird as usual and asking everyone to marry him. i think he has some sort of quota to fulfill or sth. anyway, shall try to emulate his mugging successsss....arghhh

love cny (yes, the festivities are still going on in the ooi family, had another reunion dinner yesterday, am growing fat, and the fact that i've had to adjust my skirt buckle is testament to this. i don't have the courage to step up on the weighing scale :/) wanted to go jogging today, but got pulled out by sherry to Walk Around Aimlessly. (wasting our youth staring at lights;p)alright, i think we spent 1 hr plus mugging (futile...) in macdonalds. will go jogging later, and am thinking of bringing tyson in case i get mugged (ahhh, the irony of words..haha. sorry). he's damn irritating, ruining all our furniture, clothes,shoes etcetc. but i'm trying to tame him. can't really bear to give him away. plus bambi's really lovable as a pet, but probably an utterly inept guard dog. haha (i think this one falls under resigned loyalty. or depravity) remember folks, emily is not crazy, she's just mad.

i think i can only blog for a short while until it becomes intolerable.

yesss, dramafeste is finally over. humph feel a tad underappreciated tho. sigh, the backstage org team never gets enough kudos. haha, ok, will stop whining. argh so many essays, so little time.

i saw a flattened mynah on the road last week, with one of its compatriots picking at it. Funny how your friends literally eat you up. i saw the same mynah today, even flatter, crushed by a hundred more cars. its claws were strangely beautiful, spread out like a yellow flower in a dried pressing. the whole road a black strip of a book mark, made by an obscenely morbid being, for the undecipherable book that is Singapore.

************************************************************************************

mildly scandalous discovery: ho poh fun has been carrying a torch for arthur yap for a looooong time, tho he's already got a gay partner (the current one is caucasian)... hmmm, wonder if she knows she's being played like an old fag hag. sad, really... will gently bring it up the next time if see her. (gasp, she wants to meet on v day, cos she doesn't have plans. unfortunately i'm sad n undesireable as well, so i'll be free then. haha.)

There’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It’s still a little hard to say what's going on
There’s still a little bit of your ghost your weakness
There’s still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That i can’t say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
There’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
There’s still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon..

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to crySo come on courage
Teach me to be shy'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare herIt's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna loseIt's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
-Damien Rice

omg, near obsessed w this song, am looping it ad nauseum, tho am not sick of it--yet.
Damien Rice rocks! but i like a cover one of his fans did..err naomi something or other.
find it here: http://www.eskimofriends.com/mp3.asp lol, look for cannonball by naomi and danny. :)

Human time does not turn in a circle, it runs ahead in a straight line. That is why man cannot be happy: happiness is the longing for repetition.

-Kundera.


Wahhhhh....

went for a jalanjalan session w qing and sher at chinatown yesterday. loved the crowd, tho i'm not sure the other two liked it v much. had a headache for most of yesterday, was foolishly thinking that my eyesight was failing due to unhealthy reading positions. sher provided enlightenment and said that it was probably cos of all the "heaty" stuff i've been eating...hehe, yeah, on hindsight, that's a likely reason... -_-
stuffed myself silly yesterday:

`yin yang dessert (walnut + almond paste-hot)
warm familial feeling, shared various (peanut, seasame) concoctions w 2 vv good friends!

`char quay tiao
i think i gulped down 10 tablespoons of oil, but it was good ($4 tho). then got a tad disgusted by the cockles, cos just after i finished praising them and asking sher n qing to try some, one started to ooze weird reddish black juice from its centre. was kinda piqued, then proceeded to set up "inedible and evil pus oozing marine bivalve mollusks" section on my plate and used my spoon to dissect all the other cockles, whereby they produced a pool of highly questionable liquid. the worse bit: the liquid blended right in with the rest of the dish, black, slimy, a bit bloody. cue plath who says morosely:"the blood berries are themselves, they are very still" lol

i went on to finish the whole plate. (haha, qing ate some too, but i think sherry was secretly disgusted by my dinner but had the courtesy not to say so...)

`chinese rojak w extra you tiao cos qing whined to the tattoed but surprisingly nice rojak uncle who wanted to pass his baton in the art of rojak making to qing... ("ni yao xue zou arh? zhe yang cha cha lor, haha")

`happy vegcrisps
basically a very unhealthy dish that uses a v healthy main ingredient. no one wanted to eat it when i got home cos apparently they had a HUGE dinner while iwas away. humph

`sampled alot of goodies along the way. what! they were offering k...

ohwells have the urge to write sth nice abt yesterday, been feeling like i'm wasting my mentorship, havn't written anything properly for almost a month. eek. will send ms ho a nice cny card to remind her that's she sorta loved... :)

barnard during econs today:
the poor in ethiopia are gruesomely different from the poor in britain. the situation in uk is, if you live in the inner city area of liverpool, u haven't got a car, a tv, an aircon, life is hell. but in ethiopia, u haven't even got food, but the relative poverty is lower.

why?

because they're used to dying over there.

.......

singapore govt trying to find more jobs for retirees, and raising retirement age.

does so on the pretext of letting elderly enjoy their golden years. but seriously, wth wants to spend their shining golden yrs pumping petrol at the neighbourhood shell kiosk?and if they do think that's a fulfilling way to spend one's later yrs, they've probably inhaled too much toxic petroleum fumes which have irrevocably damaged their brain cells, bringing them a step closer to senility.

argh, am being unfeeling bitch here. i'm just terrified of aging.

the deranged hardly ever know about their...disability. i don't want to euphemise it, but i can't help it. do you ever want someone to tell you that you've lost it, that you've gone mad,without you knowing when, or how. who knows the critical point of insanity, the precise moment when your remaining slivers of rationality precipitate into a single morose molecule before dissipating into the misted forests of your mind. wouldn't everyone prefer it this way, instantaneous, buffered by a comforting zone of ignorance, rather than to have it set in slowly, yourself excruciatingly aware of the existence of your mind's non-existence.

take away, all at once.
all at once, take it away.
take it all away, at once.

there ppl, here it comes, it's setting in already...i can feeel it. argh, utterly senseless post.
possible explanation: have been doing plath for the past TWO hours.

nothing much to blog about really, just chugging along in incessant routine. elddfs is taking over my life. there's just so much admin to deal with and nitty gritty details..argh, dramafeste is coming up just as film feste is ending. sigh, attendance was quite miserable, but whatever lar... lol. can't wait for cny. hey! let's go chinatown to jalan jalan!! :D ALOT of food available. been gaining wait at astonishing speed recently (ok, more like for the past month, but weight gain in dec was deserved...)
ewww,econs test soon on national income accounting (?!?!). can't bring myself to mug, am perpetually sleeping. ok, will halt this very boring and ... er boring update.

bye!!! meet up soon!!
***********************************************************************************

the words do not fit in the screen and this is not supposed to happen

Tsunami attacks in South Asia
26th Dec 2004


.


One year from now, this is going to be reduced to a problematic statistic. 130 000 is a horrific number, but who remembers the 100 000 killed in an Iran earthquake exactly one year before? It seems horribly pretentious to be grieving for them. I don’t know anyone involved, I haven’t visited most of those areas, I haven’t even heard of some of those places before this (Khaw Luak ??) I can’t do anything substantial for them, or perhaps I’m too afraid, ignorant, lazy, uninspired to do so. It’s unbearable and out of my depth to think about the victims and perhaps, even worse off, the survivors of the attack. (it‘s weird to use the word “attack”, like when we say “terrorist attack”, but now mother nature herself is the culpable one.) It’s been raining for the past few days, and I’m cold here in Singapore. Wonder how it is for those in Aceh. You know, if this disaster could spark off some inroads to a peace agreement between the central Indonesian government and the Aceh rebels, perhaps there will be at least some good to come out of this catastrophe.

Perhaps it’s best not to think too much about the disaster in it’s whole monstrosity, but to focus on the micro aspects of it. Dive into volunteer work. No, I’m not talking about going to Sri Lanka to help dig mass graves or direct emergency aid. Someone told me this: if you don’t know what you’re going to do, don’t go cos you’ll just be wasting everybody’s time and resources. Stay in Singapore and help ring bells for the RC or help to pack and box donated items. Donating $10 could go a long way if everyone chipped in. Japan has donated US$500 million, the biggest single donation from a country, and it touches me because if you think about it, they weren’t very much affected, in terms of geographical location, they didn’t feel any tremors. Neither did they suffer many casualties in terms of Jap tourist deaths. That’s why Bush frickin pissed me off when he initially commissioned US$35 mil for foreign aid. (He later upped the donation to US$350 mil after being sworn and cursed at by majority of the world, but it‘s still way less then Japan‘s donation, esp if you consider the proportionate size of each country‘s economy). For the record, Singapore only donated US$3 mil, whereas South korea and Taiwan have each donated US$5 mil. Well, if we’ve been experiencing “robust growth”, where have all the excess money gone to. I’m normally blindly adoring the PAP, but it’s disgusting that they prefer to keep the money in order to dangle election goodies for the people. I mean, who else are we going to vote for anyway?

.


Don’t feel guilty that you’re warm and alive while others are cold, in pain, too dead to even feel the pain, too in pain to even remember what pain is. There is no point to this guilt, and your energy would probably be more positively generated into doing actual work. Mere sympathy is not tangible, which translates into uselessness. The survivors won’t feel it, much less the deceased victims.

Tsunami attacks in South Asia
26th Dec 2004

.

One year from now, this is going to be reduced to a problematic statistic. 130 000 is a horrific number, but who remembers the 100 000 killed in an Iran earthquake exactly one year before? It seems horribly pretentious to be grieving for them. I don’t know anyone involved, I haven’t visited most of those areas, I haven’t even heard of some of those places before this (Khaw Luak ??) I can’t do anything substantial for them, or perhaps I’m too afraid, ignorant, lazy, uninspired to do so. It’s unbearable and out of my depth to think about the victims and perhaps, even worse off, the survivors of the attack. (it‘s weird to use the word “attack”, like when we say “terrorist attack”, but now mother nature herself is the culpable one.) It’s been raining for the past few days, and I’m cold here in Singapore. Wonder how it is for those in Aceh. You know, if this disaster could spark off some in roads to a peace agreement between the central Indonesian government and the Aceh rebels, perhaps there will be at least some good to come out of this catastrophe.

Perhaps it’s best not to think too much about the disaster in it’s whole monstrosity, but to focus on the icro aspects of it. Dive into volunteer work, no I’m not talking about going to Sri Lanka to help dig mass graves or direct emergency aid. Someone told me this: if you don’t know what you’re going to do, don’t gp cos you’ll just be wasting everybody’s time and resources. Stay in Singapore and help ring bells for the RC or help to pack and box donated items. Donating $10 could go a long way if everyone chipped in. Japan has donated US$500 million, the biggest single donation from a country, and it touches me because if you think about it, they weren’t very much affected, in terms of geographical location, they didn’t feel any tremors or suffer much casualties in terms of Jap tourist deaths. That’s why Bush frickin pissed me off when he initially commissioned US$35 mil. (He later upped the donation to US$350 mil, but it‘s still way less then Japan‘s donation, esp if you consider the proportionate size of each country‘s economy). For the record, Singapore only donated US$3 mil, whereas south korea and Taiwan have each donated US$5 mil. Well, if we’ve been experiencing “robust growth”, where have all the excess money gone to. I’m normally blindly adoring the PAP, but it’s disgusting that they prefer to keep the money in order to dangle election goodies for the people. I mean, who else are we going to vote for anyway?


.


Don’t feel guilty that you’re warm and alive while others are cold, in pain, too dead to even feel the pain, too in pain to even remember what pain is. There is no point to this guilt, and your energy would probably be more positively generated into doing actual work. Mere sympathy is not tangible, which translates into uselessness. The survivors won’t feel it, much less the deceased victims.

Disclaimer: I’m NOT turning into some uncontrollable wild child/ah lian!!! Plus my parents are (kinda) ok with the drinking. PLUS I was with the responsible sihui, PLUS we had her sister (who‘s of legal age..21/22) to chaperone us :p

I can’t believe I actually got into this tworks internship thingy cos of moe. (!!!) they’d probably flip once they got to know what the interns do there…

brief summary:
Learned to roll tobacco in flimsy paper today (ie diy cigarette), thanks to corrupters alan and Cynthia. Dawn apparently took a puff of alan’s pipe the other day… horrors! I then stupidly took a puff of alan’s cig, which tasted absolutely disgusting. But I’m quite glad I did that, cos now I know never to smoke… ever. It stinks up your breath like nobody’s business, and I started hacking away, quite in trepidation over discoloring of teeth… but if there’s ever a plus side, alan’s cig didn’t contain tar… impt trivia: every stick of cigarette you smoke shortens your (already damn short) life by FIVE MINS. (!!!)

Public service msg of the day: Don’t Smoke!
***brief reminder to self: drugs are reallllly bad !!!


Ok, anyway, have yet to settle down to do any serious studying, been pushing back pinter essay and integration hmwk for a few weeks now.. feel evil. Which reminds me of the fact that possible holiday in 546535 years could be cancelled due to shortage of tickets..why?!?!? *whine*


Hm, scares me how my mood changes so drastically from week to week…two weeks ago(internship with law firm), I was in wannabe- bigshot- lawyer-so-don’t-mess-with-me mood, then last mon was self-indulging in poetic outburst after meeting with hopohfun, then last week (LD camp for newtown pri sch kids)was in maternal awww-kiddies-come-here-and-eat-now mode, this week, have descended to theaterworks-is-a-coolshit-place-where-I-might-potentially-pick-up-bad-habits abyss. Ack.

I mean, I’m actually proud of the fact that I hold my alcohol quite well :) unlike in sec 2 when I fell sick (for a week, lol) after 2 glasses of crap wine. I didn’t even suffer from a hangover this time. :D

Alright. has occurred to me that I sound like a pathetic deprived teen let loose on a booze rampage. Haha. Booze is (occasionally) good…I volunteer to provide some when we next meet ppl! ok, will revert back to mugger status and (attempt to) finish up ghastly pinter essay.

[edit] will like to make brief insertion: zouk is really not that fun, damn smoky (awkward and completely useless fog which did not contribute to ambience one bit, mixed with fatal amounts of second hand smoke) and obstructive speakerboxes everywhere blocking your view. techno music sucks (sorry..but it's true) the light and sound technicians there ought to be fired. the popcorn machine guy should also be fired. the popcorn machine itself should be dismantled and sent back to china/thailand/vietnam/taiwan. "free flow of popcorn" ended after ONE miserable cup. ugly bouncers should also be sent back to their chinatown "buy three get one free" tailor. cos their psuedo tough-bodyguard suits were appalling and were a hazard to the already pathetic public like myself. plus they had b.o., and were stingy about the beer..humpf, refused to let us bring the beer out, cos it was "against the management's policy" (i think zouk management only follows their own rules selectively..e.g. big bouncer smoking next to "smoking:fine $500" sign. e.g. unknown c-grade celebrity taking pictures of/with herself despite the ""no cameras allowed sign). people should stop guaranteeing "free-flow" if they're gonna be sooo anal. poser z-grade celebrities should stop wearing sunglasses at 10 pm at night...for pete's sake..carrie chong..who?? (haha, apparently some sad ass perfect 10 dj...)(why am i being so bitchy today??!!) electrico was good though, will check out their website sometime, since i couldn't hear half their lyrics.

ok, enough bitching...night!

10/12/04

Really tired, but I want to record this down. Had a long day at tworks yesterday, the whole show at nafa only ended at 4 am, but grace sent us home early (12 am) on account that we were only 17...haha. Anyway, surprise, surprise, attendence was actually quite good, even though it was only mostly the artists and their friends. Will start from beginning, right when I got to meet alan; flamboyant lights & sound technician (not v sure abt his sexual orientation); scott; another semi-gay technician (saw him at zouk just now…but more abt that later on); siling; ex-crescentian from 4g2;grace; really stressed up stage manager (I received an sms from her at 4 plus! It‘s weird to know that she was thinking abt me at that hour…); Natalie; another really stressed up sm; Vivian; ditto; Janice; sm/pm


Janice: got to ride on her motorbike when she drove us to nafa…it was a cool ride with the night wind and all that. Could (almost) feel my hair billowing somewhat under my helmet, though it was probably the few stray bits sticking out of the helmet that caught the breeze. But whatever, at least there was some amt of billowing going on. Though it would be scary when she made turns, from what I see on the roads (tsk, a few motorists tarnish the whole image), with all the dangerous bends and the bike leaning at ridiculously precarious angles. All in all, love her bike, love her too, though am not going to get one for myself anytime soon though (the bike, not janice).


Sharon: voluptuous foodie. Never knew that arranging food was such an intricate art. “presentation is very important!” bread can and should be arranged Italian style whatever that is. Pate rocks in a bowl on its own (will try and get ts to make some crab and lemon pate, it kicks ass :D) cheese platters stink at first, but once get them, they’re really not bad, or maybe it’s just the thrill of slipping them into your mouth when you think no one’s looking. J



11/12/04 Zouk!

Hmmm, not as exciting as I expected, but still, it was a great night out with sihui and her sis, who’s (thankfully) of legal age, and could chaperone us..haha.. Surprisingly, no one asked to check our ids, so that was good…J bummed around inside and finished up 2 bottles of tiger beer on my own…*hic* can feel a headache coming up, I’m going to be so dead tmr. Wow, I’m surprised I can actually type, though my grammar’s a tad shaky and I know no other synonym for “surprised”. oh well. Desperately need the bed, night.

ugh, don't know what i signed up for..FCP (flying circus project) sounds like a total nightmare. no pay; no food; no cip hours; no rest. seriously, the job at famous amos had better conditions, at least i got to da pao unsold cookies, on top of getting paid!!!! i mean, i don't reaaallly have a "passion" for theatre, especially not this sort of experimental types.. pose in awkward positions for 30 mins and call it art?!?! i might as well go peek through the glass at california fitness centre when they conduct yoga classes. the strangest thing is, some of the "performances" are scheduled at 2.00 am(?!?!) wth's coming?!?! oh well, i'm being mean here, and belittling what some of these artists have been working for a major proportion of their adult lives. ack, but i'm only 17, i can't work 25 hour days...mugging for promos just about killed me already.

BUT, will attempt to see the good side of this... some of the palestinian artists will probably be performing about homeland issues, i heard the performances are going to be abt terrorism and other Big Issues. So, that will probably make me feel alot better abt the world right now.

excerpt from theatreworks writeup:

Theatreworks asks, What is Asian in this age of globalisation, internationalization, modernisation and urbanisation? Its work exists on the tension between modernity and tradition; local and global. It hopes to rethink what is Western, what is Eastern, what is first world and what is third world: Do these dichotomies continue to make sense in the new millennium? Representing the continuum between tradition and contemporary, the work is unafraid to be exotic and yet conceptual. Theatreworks' aesthetics projects the hybrid identity of the modern Asian and embrace the multiple realities.

Apart from intercultural concerns, Theatreworks' recent works have challenged accepted history through a genre of docu-performance. Such works question the process of documentation itself. It points to the slippage when translation occurs: linguistic translation, translation from fact into history into myth into performance. These works, the latest being 'The Continuum: Beyond the Killing Fields', ultimately deal with the realm of myth making in modern societies.


ommmm...will go off to Meditate and attain Artistic Nirvana

Been busy with the law firm attachment for the past 2 weeks, met at ton (ok, really, actually 6, generously speaking…) of wonderful ppl.minor fan girl syndrome kicked in when I got to know Mr. Chandra K Nair Mohan, PBM. Senior counsel, NMP, part of (hellishly evil, at times hopelessly incompetent, but still…) MOE team. (PW?!?!?), proud father of 2 children (one especially gorgeous acjc rugby team captain I‘ve never seen before, but believe to possess aforementioned characteristic, if he‘s anything like his dad..haha, I‘m disgusting.) anyway, being the shallow cheapskate who’s easily bought over with copious amounts of food, I have formulated the very profound opinion that all people who contribute to the Feed Tong Wei Scheme are Good People. :D Learnt loads, and am bugging mr mohan to let us (stacy hcjc, arika vjc and me) to tail him for another 2 additional days. Can’t wait to see him in action, defending for this partially blind guy who “accidentally” molested some girls on a bus. Rena (temasek poly attachee) picked out some loopholes in his case eg

Blind man: no one helps me!!
Blind man again: I’m v independent! I take public transport on my own everyday!
Blind man yet again: I’m partially blind !!
Mohan: where’s your medical cert?
Blind Man once more, getting slightly irritating n irritated: dun haf.

Eeps. Not v convincing right? Though I was initially on his side, cos the plaintiff sounded like an overzealous LV toting piece of shit, complaining about someone brushing past your behind on a crowed bus… then, discovered that that there were many more plaintiffs (gasp!) sueing him as well.

Right, so that seems pretty interesting. ugh, quite disgusted by voyeuristic tendencies (being molested and traumatised isn't something you want everyone to know), but i can't help it...

Anyway. Film soc’s first full fledge short film is finally completed!!! Yay!!! Horrifying number of crises cropped up eg no camera, kena scolded by ah peks for being disrespectful to the gods when filming near a temple, no money, no tape, never save movie properly, looming possibility of being sued by wong kar wai for flouting copyright rules (but, you see, legitimate reason: the 2046 soundtrack covers flaws in the film by distracting pple..lol) etc etc. oh well, but I guess it turned out ok. Highly impossible that we’ll win anything though, cos the whole film has completely NO dialogue. It could account for itself to be one of those motions that speak through the silence (v Pintersque) communicating the oppression of jaded city dwellers in some artistically warped fashion reflecting the film makers' depravity. No, not really… but whatever, am starting to crap. haha, happy we got sth done at last.

Probably will be busy with theaterworks internship next month (The Flying Circus Project). Come watch! Then it’s mugging for next yr. Sigh.

I can’t believe j1’s over.

Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note -
Amiri Baraka

Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus...

Things have come to that.
And now, each night I count the stars.
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.
Nobody sings anymore.
And then last night I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there...
Only she on her knees,
peeking into
Her own clasped hands

***********************************
haha, oh well, not really suicidal, just bummed about promos and sucky results. two more to collect. argh..going crazy.

The Three Oddest Words


When I pronounce the word Future,
the first syllable already belongs to the past.
When I pronounce the word Silence,
I destroy it.
When I pronounce the word Nothing,
I make something no non-being can hold.


Wislawa Szymborska (1996 Noble Literature Laureate)

yay! in my opinion, she's way better than this year's nobel literature laureate. i mean, "The Piano Teacher" is kinda high class porn....what with sex for violent gratification, self mutilation of your genitals (?!!!?)..right....


in other news, i finally found a job with famous amos selling their cookies. working hours are on weekends from 6pm-11pm. yep, it's quite late, so my mum's a bit worried that i might not be able to cope, and i'm starting to see some sense in her reasoning. i should probably get another job in queenstown (anchorage...) that has earlier working hours. qing, what did your parents say abt the job?

am relatively happy, though still mugging for chinese ao. lao shi is so friggin nice that if i don't do well, i'll most probably kill myself out of guilt.love lao shi....hmmm, we should all work hard since it's her last year of teaching (scandal: she can't stand the hod,so she's quitting in protest..BUT she'll forfeit 30 yrs worth of govt pension for civil servants.*gasp*)

oh, by the way, will join in the unanimous chorus:

pw sucks!!!!!