because i'm a dreadful slacker.

1.

Han: So there's this cool james bond villain with a metal jaw and he goes around eating ppl
Nurul: how cool!!
Tong Wei: hey nurul, aren't you only supposed to eat halal food? but men are not halal
risse, shuki: omg, that was classic
Tw: i'm losing it

2.

Ian: yo wanna go kap to muggg?
Tw: no, it's damn late and i wanna go home. how abt tmr? a couple of us are mugging at orchard
I: no lar, i can't mug outside one

3.

N: I'm so not a pink person, it's so bimbotic
Tw: no lar, you look quite sweet in pink! and bimbos are Babes In Total Control of Themselves!
N: er, that's a bitch dear

(i hope the sublime comedy is apparent. heh)

4.
while watching a hot wushu babe practising her swordplay

I: man, she should just stay at home and cook
Tw: or she cld come right up and impale you with her xiaolongniu skills

5.

Joel: A Wife is a useful thing to have
All: rrrighttt
J: see, she can be used to Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc

6.

Joel (again): hey, what to gays do when they fight?
Tw: what
J: they exchange blows



omggg, we're all dying, and seniors all leaving soon/have already left. feeling a tad desperate.