Margaret Cho in response to Bush's statement on same-sex marriage
hilarious.


"An amendment to the Constitution is never to be undertaken lightly."

Nor shall it be used to buy more time in office.


"After more than two centuries of American
jurisprudence and millennia of human experience, a few judges and local authorities are presuming to change the most fundamental institution of civilization."


After two centuries of prejudice and non-inclusive laws, and the millennia of human experience, which has had its share of genocide, slavery, calamity, destruction and death, not to mention your term in office, finally some brave souls are willing to take a stand for the true meaning of equality and justice, not to mention love.

this sounds sad, but the biggest event of my life's gonna take place tomorrow (technically, it took place last nov, but it's a continuation).
argh, just let me make it back..
if fate conspires against me, i shall have to erase all the previous entreis, cos it wld be just too painful to look at them and be reminded...

what wld i do with the badge? the pe shirt? the waterbottle? the books? the friends? the spirit? the memory?

i sound cheesy, but tt's seriously the way i feel...
i shall compose a love song/poet (a sonnet's still way out of my league):


brain breathed air,
with sinews waving
or are they drowning?
one digresses

blue lipped thumb kissing the paper...
signing my life away
if i 'm accepted, i'm
c o n n e c t e d
for real?

shadowy monster of a fallen past
wasted in yellowy crust
burnt, charred
wasted

the irony...
migrating from one yellow city
to another.
sour lemons to swallow

don't cringe
when u binge,
rocking off ur hinge
FLINCH

shallow accusations
from a hypocritical poet.
too unaccustomed
to a hopeless hope

the handsome female
with her psuedo-inspiring speeches
"go team go!"
before the torrent
of tears, of tears
ripping

paper, will i do it
will u hear it?
kowtow to toilet paper.
cavity filled solace
with the brown recycled bits
encouragingly utilised.

kleenex is too soft anyway.

16 on the table
will it rise
when the bags are stripped
at 2.30 27 feb 04?

comments?
feel free to criticise..

alrighty, went to the acjc funorama expecting to see some eyecandy (hey, i am permitted to have some fun aren't i?)...sadly, there was a dearth of cand(Y)dates at the fair(muahaha, i'm getting quite good at this abyssmal punning thing..*collective groan*) , but the reputedly hottest guy in sch went ard with the words "spank me" slapped across his ass..unfortunately, i did not get to see this ... but, judging fr lucinda's response (she gave him 12 out of 10), he's gotta be pretty hot...

anyway, had an empowering talk with sher, which prompted her much delayed awakening.. today's the first time i've ever heard of her volunteering to do some charity work..she's made a list of all her goals (realistic ones, if i might add), and she promised to try to be more socially aware...yeah, sher used to be so confined in her own personal sphere, i mean, it's bad enough she's got no clue as to who Dick Cheney is, but : "Blair?? Hmmm... sounds familiar, that guy.." just takes the cake. glad she's taking a more active role in her own life. inspired me to be more determined..
1.)shall not be shallow ie judging ppl based on their looks/sch
2.)shall not suffer fr lack of self-esteem "everyone's better than me syndrom"
*note: kick my ass if i whine abt "perfect" pple fr now on.
3.)study harder, try to concentrate more intensely in class, esp econs
4.)try to read ahead
5.)try to be nicer to family members
ah well.. the litany goes on...

my spiritual health is sadly deteriorating... nietzche is screwing me up... the most disturbing thing is, i actually find myself agreeing with some of the things he said... some say he's a farce, but isn't christianity a religion fundamentally based on the concept of pity? the bible tells us to be nice to beggars cos they're poorer n everything, believe in christ cos he suffered for our sins...ie pity him cos the crown of thorns hurt etc...hiaz, well, i don't really think tt way...cos it sounds mean...(see what i mean, this is exactly his point!lack of pity=meaness!therefore refusal to be mean= wanting to pity/sympathise..) argh!!!the damn bk...

thankgdness am now reading happier fare which don't scew me up...yay! (gosh, i sound like an emotional basketcase, mood swinging in extremity)
utopia's slightly easier to get through, mainly cos it's happier (duh)...plus BR rox!!!power to "in praise of idleness" (hence title of this blog)..

ok, my mind's on quite a no. of things, attempting to shut out thoughts abt o results, which are tentatively out on fri 27/2....recurring nightmares of mrs lee handing out tissue paper to bawling crescentians.....NOOOO!!!!

please please let me be happy.
that IS too much to ask for.

for all the suckers, oops, no, lovers out there, here's wishing you a happy valentine week:

VALENTINE

Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.

Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

Carol Ann Duffy

ok, don't know how to put this, but this is another highly amusing episode..
see, i find this guy in chinese class (hereby known as j) cute.the disturbing fact is, he looks like ta, and (here's the really sordid part), according to countless people, i look like ta, so, by proxy, the guy i find cute (j) looks like me. muahahah, this brings us to a whole new level of narcissim, doesn't it? the person i love most is....tada!! myself!!!..yay, seems like i haven't got any major self-esteem problems.it's always a pleasure to reaffirm tt. finished watching a prog on discovery yesterday (sexual chemistry), quite interesting really.it places the whole chemistry thing in a primal, scientific perspective (sounds somewhat paradoxical, but tt's why the prog's interesting).it's been proven tt pple are attracted to others who look like themselves.(which is true, since i'm only taking j at face value, we haven't even had a decent conversation yet, but i don't think i'll like his personality v. much => hallmarks of classic acs(I) boy...too flirtatious,egoistical,etc
anyway, back to the prog...mentioned the golden ratio, which i had given up trying to calculate yrs back, but, took to another (crude) measurement of "beauty":symmetry.spent considerable amt of time (10 min)trying to find out if my mug is symmetrical.gave up too, cos i think u need the help of a computer with this one.lol.
ah yes, the topic of valentine's day..whatever, have decided to adopt a cynical standpoint...crass commercialisation blah blah blah...apologies to all hopeless (in all senses of the word) romantics out there, but seriously, $25 for a stalk of roses?!?!?and it doesnt even talk!the rose, i mean, not the guy, though some might beg to differ...ah well, nvmind.been playing love consultant to quite a no. of ppl..hahaha, enjoying it a bit....(tw bursts out laughing at this moment)the cheap thrill of potentially dictating another person's love life is always appealing. muahaha..tw can't stop guffawing...can't stop.....ok, stopped.
anway, back to the topic (this line has been used too often for comfort, i shall either stop digressing or find a more stylish way of reminding myself to stop crapping), all the lovestruck pple ard me are hysterical...the way they moan, wail, weep etc on abt their lovers (does another less eroticized synonym exist?) is really hilarious...the gd thing is, it puts off the whole notion of "love", so thankfully, i take pride in not succumbing to the "throes of passion" (i almost expect myself to crank out some erotic prose at this juncture). i shall now take this opp. to campaign for celibacy!!!yeah!!!anyway, i hope i don't dish out (too) crappy advice...lol.i'm not taking this too seriously, am i?

“Frailty of understanding is in itself no proper target for scorn and mockery. But the unintelligent forfeit their claim to compassion when they begin to indulge in self-complacent airs, and to call themselves sane critics, meaning that they are mechanics. And when, relying on their numbers, they pass from self-complacency to insolence, and reprove their betters for using the brains which God has not denied them, they dry up the fount of pity.”
A E Houseman
Muahaha...caustic lines to keep for future reference...ie, scolding ta...childish...who cares, it's my blog.

yay, no sch today...hc's radical in this sense, experimenting w reforms n stuff eg, no o levels, no syllabus(there's this coolweek coming up where there are no classes, you can choose what you wanna learn fr courses available eg juggling, poetry writing,opera..u get e pic)....the students r not adverse to it though, staying at home and "going to sch via the internet, the wonders of modern tech"...
the ivle site is jammed now though, so i'm whiling away time waiting for others to log off so i can complete my assignments. gp assg. is pretty intresting, we had to choose to review poetry,songs,prose and movies...
the choices are cool: avril lavigne's sk8ter boi compared to wilfrid Gibson's Girl Song. for movies, they had roystan tan's fifteen, which i've been wanting to watch for THE longest time, but cos of rating problems n the fact tt it's no longer on the circuit, i missed it.so, YAY!


quite comforted that i've at least read some of the required texts before, was extremely worried that i wouldn't have even heard of the authors...
they've even included Adolescence, a poem i remember fr sec 3 mid yr lit exam!!lol...

trying to find my exam paper, so i can reuse my work again, tt's not really cheating...cos it's my work, n it can't be constituted as plagiarisation..lol.anyways, don't think i scored too high a mark on tt one ...

had a depressing talk on fri w k n r, which really screwed me up..never realised tt the class has been putting up individual facades of being happy people, to put in simplistic terms..discovered tt many are screwed badly...i mean, on medication for depression?!?! slitting one's wrists?!?! i've contemplated suicide before, but let's face it, who hasn't in this day n age...i've never really carried out my macabre fantasies before though..whether this stems from sensibility/cowardice/intergrity..i don't know.

am determined not to be influenced by them, i want to help, but it seems i'm too easily swayed, tell me a soppy tale n i empathize so much tt besides tearing, i join u in ur misery...ie. wanna commit suicide? there's a 50% chance i'll join u.largely affected my mood, to say the least. was a sullen sulk the whole wkend...this bunch is seriously wrecked, spent 1/2 surfing my first porn site, after indoctrination fr classmates who enjoy gay manga n the like...suffered fr contritions for the next few days, was so replused at myself. thankfully, i have forgiven myself by explaining tt this is a turbulent phase tt ALL teens go thru, n i shld put it behind me n move on..i hope god understands...seriously.

fortunately, regained composure after 2 hr chat w xq, so, if u're reading this, thanks! i think our calls on fri, though they take up alot of time (at least 1 hr each time, lol), are actually quite helpful.Ah, sudden outburst of gratitude to xq...betcha ur teary now...lol.

this blog had better be only read by e five people commissioned to read it..imagine the humiliation if classmates get hold of it.
argh.noooo......

The Antichrist-FRIEDRICH W. NIETZSCHE.

Piece Of Difficult Reading which I have decided to shelve until I develope a more profound mentality, pointless to read it now, because most of it is incomprehensible...

Have taken to Teng Qian Xi and Alfian's writing after an introduction by Perry. Those inspired to publish their own tomes and make it to the List Of Great Asian Writers should read her blog at tengqianxi.diaryland.com. The link to Alfian's site can be found there.

Am currently considering whether or not, to sign up for HSSRP, the mentorship programme in alliance with NUS, which would definitely be a glowing point on oe's resume, but concerns rise over ability to cope with the A's simultaneously...Once again, the Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns can serve its application here...If I ever decide to go for it, I'll most prob do my thesis on sociology: Relations across cultures and nations. that or an in depth discussion about homosexuality in modern theatre...(Bent seems to be a pretty good play to start from, if i have even seen it in the first place...the r(a) rating was a hindrance...lol)

the abhoringly stringent selection process is a downer, only ONE student made it last year...so i think i'll sign up for CAP, which in my opinion isn't as demanding... I HOPE.

just for the fun of it, i'll tell a dirty joke (as told to me by a certain lame senior):

A man felt the need to shit, so he went to the nearest toilet to shit. After shitting, he found out there was no shitwipe available, so he clean himself with his hands. After he got out of his cubicle, he saw a machine which instructed him to put his hand in the slot, because :"ALL THING PUT IN HERE WILL BECOME CLEAN"
the man did just that, and a person on the otherside bashed his hand, the following conditioned involuntary reaction caused him to stick his hand in his mouth. tada...clean hands.
tada...my dirty joke of the day.

bleah, losing my sense of humor, need to meet up with xq and gang soon to remind myself of how i used to be a funny girl. Lol. =)

tagboard has mysteriously been erased from blog...
this technical idiot will have to paste it on all over again...
went for MacRitchie run today...have come to realise tt am not in very good shape...i had to stop halfway!!!this is definitely the last straw for miss tay..a crescentian not even being able to complete the measly x-country.
anyway, have already planned my leeway...acjc! when i'm kicked out fr hc (perennial concern)...will join jeanne there in creating havoc..she seems to be having fun...
have to be fully geared up for econs test this fri so tt when i beg barnard later on, i have e saving gracept of doing well in his first test (doubt tt will happen too)

mugger toads
sheesh, promised in sec sch tt i'll not be relegated to the ranks of THEM, they who terrorise the dark side. this is not how i envied my spectrum of social life to be... slowly effacing away, erased by the "invisible hand"(#a.smith) of HC.

however, constant reminders abound tt main aim is to procure a decent scholarship, and am getting too obessive for comfort over my cv...pragmatism kicks in as i evaluate everthing using opp. cost analysis. if marginal costs are greater than marginal benefits, DON'T DO IT!
if point is currently under the ppb => under-utilisation of finite resources, therefore, need to INCRESE EFFICIENCY!
sigh, you get the gist...
sloman is now the MAN in my life, i breathe, eat, sleep,think,dream sloman. L will become inspiration for mugging. Cancel all social activites for the next 700 days or so, give and take a few exceptions (holidays, birthdays..one can't expect me to study everyday right?)
inspite of seemingly noble aspirations to confine myself to a virtual prison, have arranged plans to crash mjc,acjc,ajc and hopefully njc n rjc.
muahaha...the hypocrisy of it all, i think it makes me feel comforted/secured just to write my "vision" down...it suggests a finality and to some degree, however remote, that it might actually be realised.
tt's my problem, i don't want to mug, but i worry about not mugging, so i end up lazing, but not fully appreciating the idleness of my physical form, therefore, i try to engage in some primal brain activity, which brings me back to the pt of why i'm not mugging.being too idealistic here, visualised an instituition whereby we go there to discuss philosophy,the deeper meaning of life etc, but not to sit exams for it, cos the whole debate abt ethics being examinable soon kicks in w great vigour...
ahhh...debate..not making much progress, first real debate next week, still have'nt received the motion.suitably impressed (as usual) w the speakers today. i think i'm impressed by everything, which just goes to show how narrow/shallow we were in crez, maybe it's just me though (most prob...lol)...
i wanna go to india. but tt's another long entry tt wld interupt my essential beauty sleep.see what i mean??? i'm too concerned with trivial issues like sleeping at least 8 hrs per day. shall dream of india then.