it's the last paper tmr (S Lit), am feeling an odd mix of relief and dread, and a very draining haplessness, but i can't bring myself to study anymore. have been staring at TWO shelves full of books, half of which i've never read before, and the other half of which i've totally forgotten. i think i may be the only candidate tmr who's got nothing to talk about except a few A and O Level texts. KOC anyone?
quite depressing, especially when others are doing cool stuff like Ian McEwan, JM Coetzee etc, but i don't know much about their work, so, yes, am reduced to a bout of whining and self-pitying. but i do think i read quite considerably, it's just that i don't really absorb all the complex intricacies and Themes/Concerns of the books. I just read them y'know? As a result, i can remember that I've read the book, I can remember if i liked it or not, but i have no clue as to discussing it at an academic level. Plus i just can't crap enough to link and cross-reference them properly. (imagine cross referencing jeanette winterson and Koc...hmm, actually, i do see a sort of semblance, with jw's lesbos and the possible suppressed homosexual desire edmund has for kingshaw..hey, i might not be that hopeless afterall...) argh, am panicking, but not quite. (it's another sort of brooding and brewing sort of panic)
and haven't been writing in a long time, sigh, can't seem to start again. (it's kinda like exercising :x)
BUT, am muchly looking forward to traditional class fishing outing on tues, heh, still remember the trip last year, and HZ actually going home to cook our catch (: i hate (most) fish though, can't stand the taste, so when she brought these yummy looking fried things that looked like macdonalds fish fillets, i characteristically stuffed one in, but immediately spat it out, and i saw glimpses of silver and almost vomitted. would have been quite funny though-- imagine the new hwa chong insignia: a brown girl, holding a brown fish, projectile vomitting brown liquid, all very colour co-ordinated and etc.
argh, perpetually stuck in state of Existential Panic. people have been commenting that those 2 have become my favourite words of late, hah, but i think i shall reduce my usage of them, cos i want to preserve some of their oomph. :)
i usually have tons of crap to talk about here, but today, am strangely at a loss for words, but just felt like blogging anyway, probably cos i spent the last hour blog surfing :x eeps, i know, feel guilty.
Daddy's birthday is on tues! so, am happy that i'll be free from mugging to celebrate it with him, will be getting a nice prezzie for him from the whole family, so the budget has inflated quite considerably :p <3 him alot though he often gripes (jokingly i hope) about me being fat, lazy, stupid, unfilial -- did i mention i was getting him a present....
ok whatever, shall definitely blog more tmr when the plug from my throat is pulled out by the Post-Prelim Goddess. wth, how am i supposed to write 3 passable essays like that!?!?!?
