17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habakkuk 3: 17 - 18
These last few weeks have been trying. No, there's been no major catastrophe, and for that I'm extremely thankful. But there have been a string of minor annoyances, and mostly, I have been responsible for them. When I was younger, being a scatterbrain somehow seemed more forgivable and perhaps even endearing, because I had less to be accountable for and my youth as a shield.
As I slowly transit into adulthood proper, this trait seems to take on a more insidious dimension. Of course I am aware of how my carelessness can result in some very dire consequences, and I always think I have learned my lesson. But after a period of vigilance, I somehow find myself losing some small trinket, or making some other silly mistake.
I lost something this week, and it's funny how even though it's pretty trivial and inconsequential in the larger scheme of things, it can trigger so many emotions. I'm reminded about the time where one of my New Year Resolutions was to be more careful with my possessions. And after sharing my resolutions with my small group, I went for lunch and promptly lost my wallet at the shopping centre. Thanks to God and one extremely honest Singaporean lady, I was able to recover it, but I really detested myelf my forgetfulness then. I know these are but just worldly possessions, and I should not unduly beat myself up myself over them. But I'm just unhappy about what that says about me as a person. I can't even hold on to something so small and simple, how can I be responsible for larger things?
I've decided to blog about this as a concrete reminder to myself. I'm sure I'm going to lose more stuff along the way - to all the keys, cards, wallets, cell phones mp3 players etc that I am going to lose in the future, this is an advance apology for not taking good care of you. I promise to try and keep a lookout for your presence and attach you to myself (did I mention how much I love lanyards). To all the bigger things in my life, I promise to treat you with more care and attention than I accord to the trinkets in my handbag.
