Tried to revisit the past by going through sec 4 math notes, albeit failing, my memory is more short-termed than celebrity weddings.tis a sad state of affairs...
So now, an idle mind breeds morbidity. Otherwise known as perverse thoughts, I came up with this list, (though not exactly by myself, had help from weird medical book..)
Top ten things that pop out of women's vaginas(collectively known as babies):
1.Harlequin: Looks like a hippo.Skin is covered with thick, horny scales and plates.
2.Acephalobrachia: Lacks both arms and head.
3.Cephalomeus: Arm or leg protrudes from head
4.Cephalolthoracopagus: Twins united at the head/neck/chest.(more commonly referred to as siamese twins)
5.Cryptodidymis: Twins in which one fetus is entirely hidden within the body of the other. (watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding for more info)
6.Hemicephalus: half a brain (i actually know some people plagued by this most unfortunate condition)
7.Hemiacephalus: No brain (ditto above)
8. Holocardius armophus: A blob
9.Holocardius acephalus: No heart,head,chest
10.Holocardius acormus: Just a head (my personal favorite)
I think I'm seriously sick.
Moving on to lighter, funnier jokes:
Q: How did Hitler solve the inflation crisis pronlem during WWII?
A: By letting out the gas - deflation
Geddit?Hahahahaha
Saturday, January 10, 2004
It's been a long time since i last updated my blog, due to time constraints.Orientation at Hc is soooo intense, i mean, i wouldn't know if Bush started another war or something...(visit this site: http://www.bushin30seconds.org/ for bush in 30 sec ads..powerful political msgs there..)
anyway, orientation was obviously a blast, Hc has been known to conduct legendary orientations.Highlights include war games which were super violent, i mean i tried to take on guys twice my size, (successfully, if i might say so, for a couple of times, quite proud of myself..:P) otherwise, i was getting punched in the face by over-zealous Hwa-rriors.
The main story/theme revolves around the "Rising of The Pheonix-Blazing The Trial" which, in my opinion was a total ripoff of LOTR.Nevertheless, it was super fun.Activities included the usual mass dance sessions, not unlike those we had back in Crez, except we had the opposite sex for partners now.All my partners were reasonably nice to talk to, as in there were no awkward silences, alright, except for this one weird guy, but we warmed up to each other soon after.insert horrific fact here:3/4 of the pupils in my class were originally from the gifted programme in RGS, so i'm a tad stressed, to put it mildly. But i'm trying not to be too conscious of that fact now and just try my best.Recieved my first set of tutorial notes yesterday, and tried to start on it after seeing some pple in class attempting too, however, efforts proved futile, as did not have a clue to what "irrational inequalities" are.
Another wonderful thing about HC, the students there sincerely love the sch,and it's visible thru their actions, like when they cheer n stuff.We always make jokes about HC's communist and fascist-like practises.e.g, our school song contains the lyrics "glory to our motherland"(anyone who knows singapore's history will know that Hc used to be a communist pothole for students and teachers brainwashed by chairman mao).Hilarious,really.
I so wanna join the debate team, but almost all the members have some form of prior training/experience in debate, nevertheless,determined to try.The people there are so funny, including our faculty(fac) head, Andre, whom the whole fac worships.i mean, all the various fac heads(science, arts, so on) are like superstars in sch, v glam really. I can't think of another analogy aside fr this one: they're like F4 in that teenybopper show, where the whole sch practically idolises them, although it's not sooo exaggerated in HC n there no negative connotaions...A really cool guy in my class is like my new gay best friend.I mean, he's SOOO cool..We discuss cute guys,and stuff(he walks with this cute feminine sway, not unlike yang xiong in Holland V).Once, i passed a comment about a girl who just walked past being v pretty, he stared at me straight in the eye n said:"Do i look like i'm straight to you?"That sealed it...He was like:"I'm 70% gay you know?" Plus, he's a top student from RI, which makes him elevated to genius status in my book, shall consult him for maths c. Another girl from Anderson is pretty fun, though she's sometimes on the quiet side, which is ok for me...One creepy thing is that, there's this guy fr my next door class who looks eerily like my bro.(enuff said, nah, just kidding, don't really know him yet)
All in all, Hc really rocks and (morph into bimbo mode) "I SO DON'T WANNA LEAVE,I MEAN LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!?!?" Rock on.
anyway, orientation was obviously a blast, Hc has been known to conduct legendary orientations.Highlights include war games which were super violent, i mean i tried to take on guys twice my size, (successfully, if i might say so, for a couple of times, quite proud of myself..:P) otherwise, i was getting punched in the face by over-zealous Hwa-rriors.
The main story/theme revolves around the "Rising of The Pheonix-Blazing The Trial" which, in my opinion was a total ripoff of LOTR.Nevertheless, it was super fun.Activities included the usual mass dance sessions, not unlike those we had back in Crez, except we had the opposite sex for partners now.All my partners were reasonably nice to talk to, as in there were no awkward silences, alright, except for this one weird guy, but we warmed up to each other soon after.insert horrific fact here:3/4 of the pupils in my class were originally from the gifted programme in RGS, so i'm a tad stressed, to put it mildly. But i'm trying not to be too conscious of that fact now and just try my best.Recieved my first set of tutorial notes yesterday, and tried to start on it after seeing some pple in class attempting too, however, efforts proved futile, as did not have a clue to what "irrational inequalities" are.
Another wonderful thing about HC, the students there sincerely love the sch,and it's visible thru their actions, like when they cheer n stuff.We always make jokes about HC's communist and fascist-like practises.e.g, our school song contains the lyrics "glory to our motherland"(anyone who knows singapore's history will know that Hc used to be a communist pothole for students and teachers brainwashed by chairman mao).Hilarious,really.
I so wanna join the debate team, but almost all the members have some form of prior training/experience in debate, nevertheless,determined to try.The people there are so funny, including our faculty(fac) head, Andre, whom the whole fac worships.i mean, all the various fac heads(science, arts, so on) are like superstars in sch, v glam really. I can't think of another analogy aside fr this one: they're like F4 in that teenybopper show, where the whole sch practically idolises them, although it's not sooo exaggerated in HC n there no negative connotaions...A really cool guy in my class is like my new gay best friend.I mean, he's SOOO cool..We discuss cute guys,and stuff(he walks with this cute feminine sway, not unlike yang xiong in Holland V).Once, i passed a comment about a girl who just walked past being v pretty, he stared at me straight in the eye n said:"Do i look like i'm straight to you?"That sealed it...He was like:"I'm 70% gay you know?" Plus, he's a top student from RI, which makes him elevated to genius status in my book, shall consult him for maths c. Another girl from Anderson is pretty fun, though she's sometimes on the quiet side, which is ok for me...One creepy thing is that, there's this guy fr my next door class who looks eerily like my bro.(enuff said, nah, just kidding, don't really know him yet)
All in all, Hc really rocks and (morph into bimbo mode) "I SO DON'T WANNA LEAVE,I MEAN LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!?!?" Rock on.
Monday, January 05, 2004
eeks, tag board at such a horrible place! Ah well, shall not fret. Have been wanting to watch Love me if u dare n scary movie 3..haha, i know the latter is sort of a no brainer, but i saw the previews and it seemed really funny.What's the harm in enjoying occassional slapstick and gross humor anyway? School today was non-happening, filled with talks on codes and decorum."How to behave oneself when in the sacred premises of Hwa Chong". sheesh.The sense and sexuality talk was funny.as usual, can't believe we girls still giggle whenever we hear about BGR. Don't know how the boys reacted though, since we were separated for the talk.Parents sat me down during dinner today, and asked in full solemnity,"Do you know what sex is?" Well, i charged ahead and assured them that i would "concentrate on my studies wholly and not think sinful thoughts". Heard enough from my father about how marriage sucks to know. Anyway, can't wait till the actual orietation starts tomorrow...it's going to be so fun!!
oh yes, thing i said to my brother when he tried to act as a smartass wisecracking, but failed terribly,as usual: "Sarcasm is the evil twin of wit, tis a pity then, that you are not even related." I know it sounds childish, but,truth be told, i'm quite pleased w myself.Oh!!!For Pete's sake, you are now in jc 1 and should not be bickering w ta anymore.
oh yes, thing i said to my brother when he tried to act as a smartass wisecracking, but failed terribly,as usual: "Sarcasm is the evil twin of wit, tis a pity then, that you are not even related." I know it sounds childish, but,truth be told, i'm quite pleased w myself.Oh!!!For Pete's sake, you are now in jc 1 and should not be bickering w ta anymore.
Sunday, January 04, 2004
aha, anyone who has ever read If by Rudyard Kipling shld so read What If by Benjamin Zephaniah. It is HILAROUS.
Check out the 1st stanza:
If you can keep your money when governments all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust your neighbours when they trust not you. And they can be very nosy too.
If you can await the warm delights of summer
Then summer comes and goes with sun not seen.
And pay so much for drinking water
Knowing that the water is unclean.
that is one funny parody...
anyways, feeling idle lately, and have not really awoken from month long slumber. Tis true then, when they say that the ultimate goal of the busy is to be idle. Believe you me when i say so.
Don't really want the mugging to start so soon, but best to drill it in my thick skull now that an EDUCATION IS OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE!!Just read in the papers tt teens are v materialistic (tell me something i don't know). topping their wish list (quote): marry a super (x 20) rich man No kidding, these were the exact words...
Alas, who is then left to mourn for the solidarity of the penniless pauper. (but as the fairy tale goes has a heart of gold blah blah blah.)
Check out the 1st stanza:
If you can keep your money when governments all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust your neighbours when they trust not you. And they can be very nosy too.
If you can await the warm delights of summer
Then summer comes and goes with sun not seen.
And pay so much for drinking water
Knowing that the water is unclean.
that is one funny parody...
anyways, feeling idle lately, and have not really awoken from month long slumber. Tis true then, when they say that the ultimate goal of the busy is to be idle. Believe you me when i say so.
Don't really want the mugging to start so soon, but best to drill it in my thick skull now that an EDUCATION IS OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE!!Just read in the papers tt teens are v materialistic (tell me something i don't know). topping their wish list (quote): marry a super (x 20) rich man No kidding, these were the exact words...
Alas, who is then left to mourn for the solidarity of the penniless pauper. (but as the fairy tale goes has a heart of gold blah blah blah.)
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Ah! Finally created my own blog thingy, thought it was going to take hours, but to pleasant surprise, only used up 3 mins of my (precious) time.
Anyway, first day of jc yesterday was awful, had a skull-splitting headache yesterday which made it extremely painful to smile,talk,think,listen,breathe at the same time. I think the headache was caused by the heat or an overdose of adrenaline, but my mum offered another diagnosis-excessive consumption of alcohol. I mean, c'mon, it was only 1/2 a glass of wine on New Year's Eve.
Unfortunately, I think I sounded unconvincingly friendly to the ppl at HCJC..The first fifteen mins of arrival were absoulutely terrifying, the only Crescentian down there, and I stuck out like a sore thumb in my yellow uniform. It is during times like these that I curse the moron who made the uniform so translucent. Another peeve: my weird name, I had to repeat my name at least twice everytime during self-introductions, somehow,pple always mistake it for Hongwei, or Kongwei or something ghastly sounding...Thank Goodness I found some other girls who were alone as well, super nice bunch they are, and I think the competetiveness is mostly restricted to the science pple. Am now feeling ambivalent about being either a Historian or a Geographer, but leaning slightly towards Geography, considering the fact that I was a Geog student in Sec sch. Seroiusly hope Monday will be better. Or at least stupid headache will subside.Determined to have a blast at JC, and will not let irritating bodily malfunctions hinder my plans.
Anyway, first day of jc yesterday was awful, had a skull-splitting headache yesterday which made it extremely painful to smile,talk,think,listen,breathe at the same time. I think the headache was caused by the heat or an overdose of adrenaline, but my mum offered another diagnosis-excessive consumption of alcohol. I mean, c'mon, it was only 1/2 a glass of wine on New Year's Eve.
Unfortunately, I think I sounded unconvincingly friendly to the ppl at HCJC..The first fifteen mins of arrival were absoulutely terrifying, the only Crescentian down there, and I stuck out like a sore thumb in my yellow uniform. It is during times like these that I curse the moron who made the uniform so translucent. Another peeve: my weird name, I had to repeat my name at least twice everytime during self-introductions, somehow,pple always mistake it for Hongwei, or Kongwei or something ghastly sounding...Thank Goodness I found some other girls who were alone as well, super nice bunch they are, and I think the competetiveness is mostly restricted to the science pple. Am now feeling ambivalent about being either a Historian or a Geographer, but leaning slightly towards Geography, considering the fact that I was a Geog student in Sec sch. Seroiusly hope Monday will be better. Or at least stupid headache will subside.Determined to have a blast at JC, and will not let irritating bodily malfunctions hinder my plans.
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