Saw this graphic print on Sera's shirt-loves it!

Just came back from union camp yesterday and church 1/2 hr ago:) The brothers were extremely sweet- they surprised us with SAD day today. Haha, it actually stands for Sister Appreciation Day. The whole campus ministry (20 plus people or so?) gathered at Ant's void deck where the brothers sang "Prince of Peace" and "LOVE" (L is for the way you look at meee...) for us and Sera teared up a bit. Then each bro presented a sis with flowers and a short testimony. And they treated us to a cake with pink icing on top, which read "SAD", We were laughing that the patissier must be weirded out my the message. Well, now that the standards are set for BAD (I'm sure you can figure out what that stands for, heh), the sisters will have to come up with something memorable.

Union camp was fun! Er, save for SP night, where I was seriously bored with the programme and my SP. No offence to the organisers, but the pageant was seriously Boring!! Haha, ok, will stop being excessively mean:p Thank goodness for an awesome OG. Although we were a bit sian and unenthu at first, pool games and Sentosa really perked us up. Appreciate all the warm girls and guys who always had rubbish to contribute to conversations. Have come to notice that it's somewhat better to talk to guys about school, since they're older and more kancheong about being away from academics for 2 years. (David, I'm talking about you. bro:p)

Ok, will post up pictures when I'm done uploading them. OG outing in a coupla hours, so shall go totter about and complete my chores before then.:)

Woo, haven't loaded this page in ages! When I look at my last entry, I'm thankful that I've since grown up a lot. And of course, a whole lot has transpired since April. Stopped work at Tanglin during the June hols, slogged at Coffee Club as a waitress, studied the Bible intensively throughout, and got baptised on the 25th of June. :)

I'm slowly realising the subtle changes that are taking place in my life.(Clearly, aside from the glaring ones like, er, starting Uni!!!) Now, whenever I feel especially drained or swept away, I remind myself that my life is lived in God's glory, and that the Lord will provide me with refuge. I've learnt so many things about God, spirituality, life and love through the church, and I've noticed that whenever I pray, I'm usually thanking the Lord for all the People He has blessed me with.

The sisters and brothers are awesome and encouraging, and their friendship is of a different sort from worldly relationships. I know I can turn to them for spiritual guidance. There is a level of openness that I've not experienced thus far.(: The Campus Ministry is truly a dynamic place(:

Yes, some of the lessons are scary, and I don't agree with everything, but I'm convicted that if you are truly inclined towards God, you'll be welcomed into His arms. This may not mean worldly prosperity or a charmed life henceforth, because the Lord is more interested in making your life Holy than making it Happy. Yup, it's tough love. I always come home from service reaping a new lesson, no matter how small. Just yesterday, I came across for the first time, a verse that warns of the Lord abandoning you (Isaiah 54), this is markedly different from the usual preaching that God will never forsake you and so on. Strangely, it is somewhat comforting to know that yes indeed- do not take the Lord for granted, He will hide his face from you if you choose to turn away in the first place. But there is always the reassurance that God will warmly welcome you back should you decide to trek back in His direction.

Hm, am worried that this period of relative spiritual strength (as compared to my usual self-reliance not so long ago) will slowly erode once the hysterics of university starts. It is going to be a challenge to dutifully do Quiet Time, devote time and effort towards church and generally be Christ-like when the whole world around you seems to be zooming ahead with their own pagan speed. But I take heart that there are many others in the ministry who are at similar stages in their lives, and that through encouraging one another, we may grow in spiritual strength! (:

In other more secular matters (ahem, this is debateable since many people believe it is God's will being excercised, haha), World Cup 2006 has finally ended! The past month of fellowshipping with friends, cheering for the teams, stuffing our faces and basically reverting to primal behaviour has been awesome. That's why I love WC, even though I don't normally watch football. I'm amazed at how this event can bring people together and we temporarily indulge in ourselves.

Thanks to all mah football khakis out there who made the WC so enjoyable! Heh, late night ferrying from Macdonalds to home(Zw: I have faith in your driving even though you failed twice:p), lazing about and staying over at Ian's (feel slightly guilty for treating his place like a hotel, haha. Lan, U know we love u, man:)), the racuous crowd at church (what can I say? A bunch of campus students, free flow of caffeine and junk food plus a tight match=FUN).

Ok, it's getting late and I need to catch up on my sleep. NUS Union Camp tmr! Just know we'll have a blast, like we always do when we're together:) (er, ok, I may be in a different og, but we'll still have fun!! Heh)

The fears are too real for comfort. I hate this period of senseless waiting. It's torturous. Haven't heard from anyone yet, which must not be a very good sign.

At this point in time, I honestly feel that I can teach long-term. I've more or less settled into the environment, but everytime I think about this comfortable job, I'm forced to revaluate my chances.

Just tell me sooner. Life is still bleak.

it's hard to deal with the feeling you get when you realise your best isn't quite enough.



in the past week i've made bad calls, not thought over things well enough, reacted not-so-optimally to situations, been last-minute, been unable to focus, felt like i probably wasn't meant to do this, thought about myself as a person, thought about myself as a friend, thought about myself as a leader/worker and decided that, at least for now, i'm officially disappointed with me.



the thing that scares me is, i don't even have an optimistic phrase to put at the end of this blog that says oh you know, everything seems to be going bad and i'm upset but i know it'll be okay.



honestly, i don't.

Spent a nice, quiet day at home reading and caring for Bibs. The poor dearie got attacked by Tyson earlier in the week and had to be rushed to the vet's. Wounds are looking alot better, as compared to the two ghastly fang holes he had earlier. Ok, will not gross people out with descriptions of the pus. Anyway, Bibs will be duly entitled to the TLC he deservers. (:

Am planning to do something I haven't done in a loooong time -- go to church. Yes, my collegues have finally succeeded in dragging me off to their Punggolian congregation -- on Easter Sunday nonetheless! Will go with an open mind. (:

Uni stuff is trickling in slowly, and the wait is long and ardous. Feel like I'm back in December, all anxious and jittery. It's still kinda painful to read about how S is torn between Cambridge and Yale on her blog, but she really deserves her results, and even though I don't know her well, I'm happy for her.

Been thinking alot lately about future career paths (surprise, surprise). I don't really want to career jump too much, so the choice I make now is probably going to last a lifetime (sounds like I'm choosing a mate, eh?). But I'm not really in a position to choose now, am I.

In other news, The Sister's secret love affair thing is kinda cute, cos she takes care not to let anyone know about it, but there're always little tell-tale signs. (Ok, fine, maybe some need a little investigative probing...BUT I haven't told on her to The Parents...yet. Haha, I'm evil.) Well, she did leave her neoprints lying about... :p

Arrr, used to be unable to stand anything cutesy. Oh no, I'm turning to jell-o.

gahh... tests were atrocious. the math portion was amazingly difficult-no calculators allowed! reminded me of the d math paper one in secondary school. sigh, didn't even complete some questions, which is highly embarrassing, because i saw that the candidates around me had completed ahead of time. the moe one today had about 400 people (this is not an exaggeration) squeezed into an auditorium. which means that there are probably 1000 (since they conduct a number of sittings) people ALL applying for it. O M G.

Personality Test

Qn 1: Do you find yourself feeling inferior to others?

A Seldom
B Occasionally
C Frequently

Qn 2: Do you find it difficult to pluck yourself out of self-pitying moods?
A Yes
B Not Sure
C No

Oh dear.

bloody tests. pattern observation is Not my thing. am having a headache from looking at all the online practice tests, and attempted to print out some. but aborted plan when i found out i needed 53 pages. and yes, one more time with feeling- some students need to Die.

ahem, ok, maybe that wasn't so appropriate seeing how i'm applying to teach. owell, uni apps are all over and done with. except that i haven't mailed smu my cheque yet. oops, hope it's not too late. and i haven't gotten a teacher's reference for ntu. i think that's optional. gahh. life is back to being bleak.

March hols are here! but still have to do work--> setting mid-yr exams. don't think i'm gonna get paid for doing ot though. owell, will hopefully be able to get my ass down to finishing up all the essays i have to submit (boo) and finish reading all the books i have lying around (i'm horrible like that). all's ok i guess. one year ago, if you told me i had to remain in sg, i would probably whine and moan, but now, i'm genuinely ok with that fact. just hope that i'll accept whatever comes my way with an open heart.(: ok i'm off to craft crafty MCQs, heh

I'm going to start my crazy-assed militant training programme tomorrow. This requires the stripping of individual identity to form a cohesive whole contingent. I shall address the students by reg nos, and they will address me as "Miss Ooi Please" (Yes I have included "Please" as part of my name.) or "Mdm". I will not respond to anything else. Especially not "cher" or "oy". Corporal Punishment will be included in the regime, and this includes standing on the table and spinning according to the ceiling fan's motions. Miss Ooi (my new Christian name "Please" has been omitted for the sake of proper syntax and sane English) will periodically change the speed of the fan (we have moronic slowness suited for the -ahem- heavier ones. (Yes political correctness aka common courtesy is also encouraged in this new regime. I shall set the example.) We also have maniacal spinning when Miss Ooi is in a groovy mood and turns the knob to the max. And by groovy I mean Krakatoan explosion)

Male students are prohibited from standing less than one arm's length to Miss Ooi, unless I make the first move towards you (note the subtle switch of pronouns. Muahaha, this is part of my psychological warfare strategy which will break down even the nastiest bastard.)

Targets:

3E2: Aaron, Weijun, Teck Cheong (unless he crosses over to the Light ie Miss Ooi's side--Darkness must not, it must never(!) triumph)

3E3: Andrew, Chipong, Chuan wei, Terence. The whole schoolboy crush has long worn thin and I have to restrain myself from literally strangling them. To curb these murderous thoughts, I have taken to reading "Siddhartha", but sadly, I have yet to relinquish my worldly violent tendencies and desires to amputate certain teenaged beings.

Behold the new militant bitch in town. Bring it on, man.

came back from a nice meal with some of the ns guys who were not struck with tekong flu, so yayy to white blood cells and uh various bodily things that protect teenage boys from nasty viruses(:
yabbered the whole afternoon away in breeks with the 15ers, and i miss the guys with all their corny jokes. everyone needs people like junyong and ian in their lives to hammer.

steamboat at shuki's house last night was nice and cosy with just the few of us. heh, felt a tad guilty cos we left all the washing up to her parents, plus, they had to wait for us to finish before they could eat:x but i'm proud to announce that i was the only polite guest who brought stuff over. the rest just shamelessly sponged off. plan to play mahjong failed miserably cos we got carried away with the yabbering. and we left at the rather sad time of 10 since most of us had to work the next day. talked about some pretty sobering stuff last night, but the future has always been bleak and very sobering, so yes, that's that- deal with it.
the whole "we're at the crossroads where we have to make life changing decisions" thing does not get easier the more you talk about it. in fact the enormity increases every single time you think about it. hurhur, it's always at the back of our minds.

it's times like these that i wish for some religious rooting to fall back on. zing said that living for yourself is just not worth it. initially, i disagreed, but i think i've come to see her perspective. anyway, i think i need some alone time- not the watch tv alone type, but some serious quiet time. i haven't been doing that in a looong time.

Oh man, I never thought a bunch of 15 year olds could make me so frustrated. I really appreciate crescentian discipline now that I'm at Tanglin. The sec 3 syllabus is in a total mess. The two classes are having such serious discipline problems that I'm actually panicking at the speed we are going, seeing that I spend most of the time yelling at them. We are NEVER going to finish in time for the test, haha-next week. This would all be terribly funny if it wasn't happening to me. The sec 2s are angels compared to those insufferable attitude giving pubescent twits. Gar. Ok, must stop muttering under my breath in class cos they can hear me and it would hurt their feelingsyadayadayada. Anyway, the point is, what happened to the good old days of yore when sec 3 students actually paid attention?!?! Ive stopped nagging at them and allowed some to do as they like, which is not doing any good for the rest who want to learn. Ohdear, I'm beginning to sound like one of those bitter spinster teachers who nag all day long and are the most unpopular creatures in school. Ok, we'll see how my killer test goes, maybe that'll wake them up.

Went back to beloved Hwachu yesterday(: the songs always give me goosebumps. sigh, i <3 Hwachu. pity i missed the fire display and glam fac heads cos I almost cancelled going in favour of watching Lovers in Paris :x heh, i know,iknow, it's pretty pathetic right? haha, but whatever la. it's my first korean drama!(: omg, they are SO addictive. much better than whatever ch8 spews. went to makan at adams after the campfire! and felt slightly better cos i just read a new study proclaiming that it's not how late you eat, but WHAT you eat that matters. Uhh, i'm still trying to figure how much of that was a breakthrough :x

Anyway, in other updates: my teaching job is....uh kinda fun. I mean i'm not hollering in ecstasy or anything, but yeah, it's fine. The students can get a little rowdy at times. Case in point: I was relief teaching with Mrs C during home ec and both of us were in chare of 2 normal sec 3 classes put in the same room. the guys simply were not in the least bit interested in completing a complex mindmap on Veggies (no kiddingman) so they were basically making alot of noise and playing online games when they should have been researching on the methods of cooking,storage and nutritional value of Vegetables. I sorta understand the reluctance of 15 yr old gangster-types being repulsed by such topics. ("cher!!!zhu se mo zhu?!?!dunno larrr.you so clever you help me do everything lahhh" To which i actually burst out laughing, which, on hindsight might be just slightly inappropriate given that Mrs C was fuming just behind me:x) But these guys do have a sweet side. Was travelling on the bus in the morning when i saw Leo (one of the aforementioned anti-veggie guys) swaggering up the bus. Then i saw that he was holding his little brother's (pri3?) hand on the moving bus, and sort of shoving him into the inner seat so he won't fall onto the aisle. The coarse affection really brought an all round aww feeling, which was definitely a nice respite from the usual gar-i-want-to-strangle-you-so-shut-up thoughts.

Am now online trying to look for interesting geogy pictures, and am complating whether to show them Han's geog porn collection, which is really amusing. But am worried about whether the content is too explicit. Um, actually it's nothing much la, just a couple of phallic looking landforms and provocative patches of grass. yeah, you get my drift. otherwise i guess i'll just have to settle for scenic looking farms. (We're on Arable Land now:))

ok, off to look for PG geog pics now...

New musical find: Arcade Fire:)))

Last night's countdown at Esplanade was possibly the saddest countdown I've ever attended. But in a good way, haha. It was beyond crowded and everyone was quite literally pasted to each other. eeks. Did not even manage the traditional 54321 countdown since we were too far away from the main action to hear the countdown, so by the time we realised it was time, well, it was past time.:X oh well, but the fireworks were amazing-10 glorious minutes, albeit hampered by badly positioned trees. Arrr, could only catch glimpses of the pyrotechnics through the leaves, which might sound vaguely poetic now, but, trust me, is immensely frustrating. gar.

But met nice new ppl!I think their names were Wesley and April. Sher and Qing's collegues from Hellish Hanabi (alliteration!heh). Had fun lounging in Hagan Dazz at 12.30 am.(:

2005 has been an intense year, and I'm glad it's over. Hope 2006 turns out great(: Good luck to all of us. Show me the moneyy!!! I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about later on when my pupils (who might very well be older than I am-!!!) start giving me brain aneurysms and heart burn. gar. Plus all the begging for money from various Orgs. gar. BUT! Our True Warrior (haha, I'm never gonna hear the end of this, but gimme a break, I was 13 and into Tamara Pierce:p) will remain optimistic and doggedly persistent. Pugnacity is puggalicious. ok, ok, enough with the canine allusions.

I guess what I want to say is Happy New Year Everyone!

The club that became St. Catherine's Society took its name from its original meeting place, St Catharine's Hall, a house in Broad Street now forming part of Hertford College. However the connection with the saint is is appropriate for a college founded on an ethos of high academic standards combined with a doggedly independent streak.

Catherine was one of many women carried off from Alexandria by the Emperor Maxentius in 305. Maxentius brought fifty philosophers to convince her that her belief in Christianity was foolish but Catherine had studied in depth, and although aged only eighteen, confounded the arguments of the philosophers and ended up converting them. Maxentius had the philosophers put to death and Catherine imprisoned. However, when the Emperor's wife was also converted after visiting Catherine in prison, the Emperor decided that she had to die. A wheel set with razors was constructed and Catherine was tied to its rim, but instead of cutting her to pieces, the wheel broke and some of its splinters and razors injured the onlookers. Finally Catherine was beheaded.

The College celebrates its patron saint each year with a special Catz Night dinner, attended by junior and senior members of the College, at the end of which a giant Catherine wheel is lit in the quad.

Oh boy.

PROM PICTURES (:

http://www.shutterfly.com/view/slideshow.jsp?auto=1&aid=67b0de21b34c632e6576&js=1134188969578

(Bitte - nicht so schnell! = Please - not so fast (drive slowly))

OMG... can't believe this is an actual place in Austria. Imagine putting this in my tourism essay. (negative externalities of sex tourism eh.)

anyway, been worrying about bibs (my cutestfurrywurrydoggiewogie) lately, there seems to something wrong with his right eye, and he looks as if he's squinting all the time. Oh no, this is very bad, but he's not that old (only 10) but everyone says they usually live till 15-16. I'll give it a few days, but if his condition's still not improving, it's off to the vet's...

I feel a complusive Need to blog about this, release some angst and hopefully feel a bit better. The interview was BADbadbad, so the following post is going to be a Blow by Blow (pun intended) account of it.

Argh, it started off ominously, I couldn't really understand what she was saying because of her accent, so when she asked me if I was the last of Mr White's little lambs (ie the last Geoger of the day), I heard "Have you tried any of Mr W's little lambs," which I of course thought was an appreciative tribute to Mr W's culinary skills, so I almost told her all about the chocolate fudge brownies he baked us last week. Fortunately I stopped myself in time and deciphered her question properly enough.

Then she asked me the inevitable Friendly Social Question ("Where would you most like to visit?"), to which I chamged my choice destination THREE times. 1. Africa (then I realised it wasn't a country) 2. Kenya (then I realised I forgot the name of the tribe I wanted to visit) 3. Peru (because it has 28 out of the 32 available climates!)

Following that, she asked me about solving the aging population problem, which was okay, I suppose, but then she asked me why I would want to solve it. So I gave her the standard quip about how sensitive jobs in the political arena and the military should be taken up by Singaporeans. AND THEN -ahem- she accused me of being xenophobic. (!!!BADBAD) So there was this small silence where I frantically tried to save myself, while she went on about "how sewn up our society was", how "PAP (she pronounced it pap) has killed off the opposition," and the" ideal solution would be to kill off everyone aged above 65." In comes horrible joke about recurring costs of burial and funerals.

It goes further downhill-

We went on to talk about The Article (this arcane piece on "Fossils of Quadrupeds"). (AAAAArghhhh)

I didn't really know where to start, so I just gave a summary, and stupidly started talking about Paleoclimatology--> global warming and how skeptics question it, to which she said "Global warming? My foot" (I'm not kidding, those were her exact words), to which I laughed weakly in response and said "So I see you're a Skeptic".

Then she started on this truism "the absence of evidence is the evidence of absence", and she asked me whether the author agreed with the statement. ARghhh. badbad. She had to ask me the question 3x before I gave her the specifics.

I was absolutely freaked out by now, so her constant pausing to cough made me all the more nervous (were my answers so shockingly absurd as to induce a coughing fit?!?!). Then she asked me about a giant mammal found in Madagascar (homoflorenscian or something) and I didn't anything about it!!!!! ("So the debate is, are these creatures a new species of quadrupeds, or were they merely suffering from island dwarfism 20000 years ago?" omgddddd)

I think by this time she was kinda fed up, so she said, "Alright, now, do you have any questions for me?" Diediediedie. Intelligent Question Thinking Time suddenly sprang up, and I wasn't prepared to leap into fluvial geomorphology, so I asked her about some lame thing regarding conducting a census of the ocean, and whether she believed in the existence of exotic, undiscovered species on earth. Then she told me about some giant squid they found off the coasts of Africa or sth.

Her parting words: "Go find out more about those homoflorenscians."

And no I do not feel any better.

urgh, am a bundle of nerves. the interview is tmr, and i'm scheduled to go after sh and jy, both very good students. i'm going to look like a complete moron next to them. and Dr Babs Kennedy (the interviewer) is one helluva geographer. she specialises in -ahem, wait for this- Fluvial Geomorphology. i mean wth is fluvial geomorphology (i even had trouble typing that out)(!!!). argh. Must Calm Down, in order to avoid difficulty pronouncing multi-syllable words-yes- that tends to be a problem sometimes. Mr White very cheerfully informed me that past topics of discussion have included "The Lunar Landscape"- ?!?!?!?. right. (am turning out to be a Punctuation Whore.) argh. the only understanding i have of that topic is it's association with ancient Latin medical hypotheses relating to lunacy, which i am succumbing to slowly - but oh so- surely.

Must Not Panic.

Dr B Kennedy
Summary - Fluvial geomorphology, history of geomorphological and geological thought.

A fluvial geomorphologist by training, Dr. Kennedy's research in that field has moved from valley asymmetry to river networks in general and the role of tributary junction in particular. In parallel with this, she has become increasingly interested in the historical development of ideas about landscapes and land forms, especially valleys, since the Eighteenth Century. Her work at present is focussed upon Charles Darwin's experience of valley forms during the Beagle voyage and the significance of his Patagonian and Chilean travels.

-ohno, i'm too young and ignorant to face such brilliance.-

should i shake her hand? but everyone tells me i have sweaty palms when i get stressed, and tmr, make no mistake, tw WILL "get stressed", to put it mildly.

Somebody please help me. I think i might need to see a doctor for some of those pills hz n k have been popping. seems to have done them ALOT of good :x me want some tooooo.

yes,yes, i know i'm lousy, no need to keep reminding me.